Self Discipline
by Eclipse-Vamp
Summary: Jasper's, Edward's, and Alice's POV of the disastrous birthday party in New Moon.Three-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey, this is my first story I wrote a LONG TIME ago so it's not as good as I write now, but I still wanted to post it up here.**

**Disclaimer: My name is Emma Lou, not Stephenie Meyer so all of this belongs to her. I just got inside the characters' heads for a lil' bit. **

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Alice was bouncing with excitement when she came home from school. She started to run all over the house putting pink candles and glass bowls with roses in them on every possible surface. Bella was coming over tonight for her birthday party. I grimaced. Don't get me wrong; I like Bella and I'm excited for her birthday—I haven't had a birthday since 1863—but she smelled very delicious and I didn't like wanting to kill her all of the time and feeling weak. Edward would probably kill me if I even thought of tasting Bella. Her blood was probably very sweet and delicious if Edward even had trouble with maintaining control over her scent.

Venom poured into my mouth thinking of how good she would taste.

_Snap out of it, Jasper!!_ I told myself and shook my head to get rid of that thought and focused on Alice. Her movements were very graceful as she danced around the house decorating for the party. I still couldn't imagine that I was this lucky to have her as my wife. I still thought that meeting Alice was all a big hallucination and that I would snap out of it and find myself wandering cities in depression.

Alice left the room and went into the kitchen to bake a cake for Bella. I remembered the conversation we had had about this subject…

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"Alice?" I asked when I looked at her list of things to do for Bella's party.

"Yes?" Alice was scribbling a ton of things on her notepad. The title of the page was: Gifts to Not Get Bella for Her Birthday.

"I don't think we should have a cake," I said.

"Why not?" Alice stopped writing and looked up at me.

"Well, I think that Bella can't eat a whole cake and we won't eat it," I explained in a rush. "We would be wasting food." I didn't want my wife putting effort into something that was useless and then getting hurt when she realized that all her work was for nothing. I knew she would be already disappointed from Bella's lack of enthusiasm at the party.

Alice chuckled softly and continued writing. I quickly gave up on my ideas of trying to talk Alice out of it. She always got her way.

*****

Once the cake was done, Alice frosted it with pink muck known as icing. It didn't look very appetizing. She set the cake on a table near the piano along with presents, candles, and bowls with roses.

I couldn't wait to see the look on Bella's face when she opened the empty box Emmett, Rosalie, and I gave her. I remembered the night we had decided on what to get Bella for her birthday…

*****

"You guys should get her a stereo for her car." Edward told us and then explained how awful the one she had in her car was. Emmett and I chuckled, amused.

"Okay," I said.

"I can't get her _anything_, or, I can't spend any money on a gift, but she allows other people to spend money on her," Edward sighed. "You guys can get her things, but all she wants from me is vampirism."

"Oh," Emmett said. "We're lucky, then."

"No need for bragging, Emmett," Edward growled and I suspected that it was something in his thoughts that made Edward react like that.

Alice entered the room and walked up to us. "You guys should know that if you leave the stereo in the box, Bella will return it." Alice turned around and left to go and tell Rose what we had decided.

"Give her an empty box?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"And install it during the party." Emmett mimicked my wry grin and we smacked fists. This would be perfect.

*****

Alice went outside then and I followed her. I held the lanterns while Alice hung them up. She then put even more bowls with roses outside. We went back inside and Alice made sure that every candle was lit.

I looked at my wife. Her eyes were far away. She was having a vision. I was prepared to go over and ask her what she saw, but she was too excited to wait for me to ask her.

"They're coming!!" Alice trilled. My whole family entered the living room in a flash and we all stood in our places. Alice held my hand and started to bounce with excitement.

Two minutes later, I heard Bella asking Edward about showing up in a developed picture she had took of him. I chuckled softly at the stories about us humans believed. There were so many untrue myths about vampires. Edward laughed very hard and opened the door to our house still laughing.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" My whole family said in unison. This caused Bella to blush and my throat burned. I felt Bella's shock and disgust as she took in all of the decorations. Alice had told me that Bella didn't want to get older and didn't want any attention on her birthday. She wasn't going to get her wishes with Alice around.

Esme and Carlisle were closest to Bella. Esme hugged and kissed Bella's forehead. Carlisle put his arm around Bella and told her about how they couldn't rein Alice in. Emmett greeted Bella and made her blush even more with his words. My throat burned harder. Emmett left the house while winking at Alice and Edward shot me a secret glance that meant to watch myself. Alice let go of my hand and skipped to Bella. I didn't go over to Bella. Instead I leaned, smiling, on the post at the foot of the stairs. I felt her emotions. Bella was hurt at how I was keeping my distance. I wanted to go over there to make her happy, but I was protecting her from myself.

"Time to open presents," Alice said and towed Bella over to the table.

"Alice, I know I told you that I didn't want anything—" Bella started.

"But I didn't listen. Open it." Alice was smug as she replaced the camera Bella had in her hands with the present that Rosalie, Emmett, and I had bought for her. Bella unwrapped the present and opened the empty box.

"Um…thanks." Bella told us. Rosalie smiled for once and I laughed.

"It's a stereo for your truck. Emmett is installing it right now so that you can't return it." I explained.

"Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," Bella said and raised her voice. "Thanks Emmett!" I heard Emmett's laughter as he placed the last part of it in her truck.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice trilled, extremely excited.

Bella glared at Edward and said, "You promised."

"I didn't spend a dime," Edward told her.

I moved closer to get a better look. Emmett came in and stood behind me. Bella sighed and told Alice to give her the present. Emmett chuckled.

It all happened very fast then. Bella put her finger under the paper and jerked it.

"Shoot," She muttered and revealed a bleeding finger. This was all it took. Bella smelled better than before and I lunged at her with venom flooding my mouth.

"No!" Edward roared, hearing my thoughts. He shoved Bella away from him and sent her flying to the floor along with the cake, flowers, presents, and glass bowls. I slammed into Edward. A snarl rippled from my throat and I tried to move around Edward. I wanted her and she was going to be mine no matter what it takes. My teeth were inches from Edward's face. I would kill anyone who would try to take my meal. Part of me told myself to stop trying to hurt my brother and his love and run far away so that I won't hurt anyone, but that part was easily ignored when I smelled Bella's blood gushing from her arm.

I was wild, but I didn't care as long as I could have Bella's sweet and delicious blood flowing down my throat. I didn't notice anyone else but Bella. I felt like an alien to myself, but I didn't care because I needed the blood. Human blood. Bella's blood.

Carlisle ordered for Emmett and Rosalie to get me outside. Emmett was unsmiling as he came over to me.

"Come on, Jasper," Emmett said and held me back. He was so strong!! I fought against his grip and tried to get to Bella. My eyes searched instinctively for the opponents I would have to face before I could get to Bella. I made a plan in my head. First, I'd kill Emmett and Rosalie. Then I'd kill Carlisle and Esme. Finally, I'd kill Edward. I wouldn't kill Alice. It would be tough, but I would do it if it meant to have Bella for dinner.

My teeth were reaching towards Emmett as I tried to rip him apart. Rosalie came towards me and helped Emmett push me away from Bella. She kept a careful distance from my teeth. Part of me wanted her to, but the other part was unhappy. Emmett and Rosalie pushed me out of the house where the smell wasn't as bad. I still fought against them, but I slowly stopped and realized what I had done. I had ruined Bella's birthday by trying to kill her.

I ran into the forest without a backward glance. I was a monster.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! If you would be so kind as to leave a lil' review, I'd love it! :)**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to my one reviewer and to the...three (I think) people who put this on Story Alert! You guys made me smile like a dork! So, here's Edward's POV.**

**Disclaimer: If I was Stephenie Meyer, the Twilight Saga would be about Alice and Jasper. It's not so I guess I'm not her. :( I own nothing.**

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"I'm so sorry, Bella," Esme said and walked out of the door. Jasper was still fighting against Emmett and Rosalie outside. I knew it wasn't Jasper who wanted to kill Bella—his eyes were way beyond reason, so were his thoughts—but I was still prepared for a duel to the death with my brother. No one was going to touch my Bella.

_What have I done?!_ Jasper thought. _I am a monster!!_ He ran into the forest and didn't stop. By the way he was thinking, he wouldn't come back home for a while. I was hoping Alice could calm him down after we fix Bella. I wasn't breathing at all because I knew that if I did, my reaction to Bella's scent would be very much like Jasper's; only I'd get the blood. I would stay with Bella to make sure that she was safe and was okay, even though I knew she wasn't. My throat burned knowing how her blood had tasted last spring break. Venom pooled into my mouth.

"Let me by, Edward," Carlisle ordered me. Would he be a threat? I read his thoughts. _I need to see how bad her wound is. Now let me by!_ I still didn't know if I could trust him. I knew that he was good with hiding his thoughts from me. I remembered when he had changed Rosalie and hid the thought about wanting her to be the 'special' girl for me. I realized that this was Carlisle I was thinking about being a threat. I nodded and relaxed.

"Here, Carlisle," Alice offered him a towel. Carlisle shook his head and explained that there was too much glass in the wound. A pain shot through me thinking of how I had done that to her. Another pain shot through my throat looking at the blood coming from the wound. I had already put Bella in enough danger bringing her to a baseball game with my family. Now I can't even bring her to my house without her nearly getting killed.

"Let's get her to the kitchen table," Carlisle said. I picked Bella up and my throat burned. She's right in my arms with blood coming from her wound and I want her so bad, but she's my love so I can't do that. I fought the burn in my throat and made my face as plain as it could be. Carlisle walked with me, keeping pressure on Bella's arm.

"How are you doing, Bella?" Carlisle asked her.

"I'm fine," Bella said. _Fine?! _How could she be _fine?!_ How could she even say that word when my brother nearly killed her and she has this deep wound that is calling to me to drink from it?! _Fine_ isn't right. _Horrified_ is a better word for this situation. Bella had apparently noticed that I wasn't breathing.

"Just go, Edward," Bella said. I would've gladly left this place if Bella wasn't in this situation. Bella needed me. I tried to use as little oxygen as I could when I talked.

"I can handle it," I lied. Bella needed me to stay with her. I would protect her even if it means facing the burning in my throat that is screaming at me to kill the human. Maybe one little taste…NO!! I clenched my teeth together.

"You don't need to be a hero," Bella sighed. "Carlisle can fix me up without your help. Get some fresh air." She winced as Carlisle started to work on her arm. She was hurt.

"I'll stay," I said. How did she expect me to leave her when she was in pain? She couldn't deny that the wound did hurt.

"Why are you so masochistic?" Bella mumbled. Carlisle was screaming for my attention in his thoughts. I knew that he would be trying to talk me into leaving, so I easily ignored him. He decided to talk out loud. Dang it, now I can't ignore him.

"Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he goes too far. I'm sure he's very upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now."

"Yes," Bella was eager to get me away. "Go find Jasper."

"You might as well do something useful," Alice added. _I'll talk to him after you do._ She said in her mind. My eyes narrowed. Three against one. I thought of how Bella didn't want me in any pain. She was in pain when I was in pain. I would leave for Bella. I nodded because I was out of my oxygen supply and ran out of the kitchen's back door and into the forest.

Jasper was deep in the forest because I couldn't read his thoughts. I improvised and followed his long and winding trail, running with all of my speed so he didn't go too far. Once I heard his thoughts, I went in a straight line to the direction they were coming from. Jasper caught my scent and froze, not sure whether I mean to attack or to talk. I ran up to him with my hands raised.

"I mean no harm," I said and Jasper straightened out of his crouch.

_What are you doing here?_ Jasper wanted to talk in his thoughts.

"I have come to talk to you about the incident." Jasper winced at the word _incident._ I continued. "I know you feel awful about how you behaved."

_Yeah, well, I am weak._ Jasper looked down at the ground.

"No you're not." I comforted him. "I was having trouble, too. Esme, Emmett, and Rose all left the house. Alice was struggling in the kitchen and I think she has come out of the house now."

_Sure, all of you had issues with the scent._ Jasper thought and kicked at a root in the ground of the forest. The root was ripped out of the ground along with a bunch of smaller roots and the tree fell to one side. _But I tried to attack her._

"You're just not used to...." I was cut off by Jasper's harsh thoughts.

_Don't say that I am not used to the scent! I've tried for over fifty years now. I haven't slipped up all but three times. _Jasper stated. _It's not because I'm not used to the scent. It's because I'm weak and you and I both know it!!_

"Quit beating yourself up," I told Jasper and I placed my hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off. "I'm not mad at you. I never was. Your instincts took over you. I know you would never mean to harm Bella."

_You weren't? You were never mad at me? _I had caught Jasper by surprise. _Why aren't you? I nearly killed Bella. I wanted to kill you. How can you forgive me?_

"Like I said, all of your instincts did that." I told him. "_You_ didn't." Jasper was feeling better about himself until he thought about Bella.

_Is Bella mad at me?_ Jasper thought sheepishly.

"Not at all," I told him.

_Is she hurt?_ Jasper looked down again and hung his shoulders in shame.

"She's fine," I used Bella's infamous word she used to describe herself. "The wound has some glass in it and it needs stitches, but she seems okay. Anyway, that wound was from me."

_Right._ Jasper agreed. He looked up and thought, _Where's Alice?_

"She's probably outside of the house waiting for you." I said.

"We should probably go, then_." _Jasper said and forced a smile. "She never was the patient type." With that, Jasper turned and headed towards where Alice was waiting.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! Do you know what my favorite part of is? The little green button below my writing. Click it please, I accept anonymous reviews, too! It only takes around one minute! I'm sure you can spare that much time to make my day! *puppy-dog eyes* Please?**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, I wrote this a while ago and I now catch a huge mistake. Alice is supposed to help Bella instead of doing what she's going to do in my chapter. Sorry about that! Please excuse the mistake! This is in Alice's POV.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. :(  
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I watched hungrily as Carlisle stuck the needle into Bella and started his work. Venom came into my mouth. I swallowed it back and tried to concentrate. My throat burned.

_Bella is a human. Edward needed her for his…sanity, I guess. Bella had goals and plans for the future. She was going to live a long and happy life. _I thought, trying to convince myself.

_She is a human!! She is a human!!_ I chanted to myself as I looked at the blood in Bella's arm.

_She is my friend!! My sister!! She is family!! She is…going to be mine!!_ I thought as I looked into the future to see me killing Bella. I had to get out of here!! It's far too much!! With a tiny, apologetic smile on my lips, I quickly ran outside. Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme were there. I sighed. I would have to find Jasper in the forest after Edward talked to him.

Esme noticed me and ran at full speed towards me.

"How's Bella?" Esme asked.

"Oh, she's fine." Edward would kill me if he heard me say that. "Carlisle is getting the wound cleaned. There's only going to be a few stitches."

"That's a relief," Esme sighed. "I wouldn't know what to do if we ruined her birthday even more."

Esme started to say more, but I didn't listen. I needed to know where Jasper was. The only way I could talk to him was if Edward was done.

"Has Edward talked to Jazz yet?" I interrupted Esme. Emmett chuckled as he and Rose came towards us.

"Not really," he said. "He just ran into the forest."

"Oh," I said. Great, it would take Edward…five minutes to find Jasper and five to convince him to come back. I looked into the future.

I decided to try to wait patiently. They would come out of the clearing in the woods right…there. I told myself as I went to sit down in front of the spot. I folded my legs and closed my eyes to look at the future.

"You know you look like one of those people who meditate," Emmett teased.

I opened my eyes to give Emmett the evil eye and stick my tongue out at him before I shut them again.

_Jazz and Edward ran out of the forest. Edward went to Em, Rose, and Esme. Jasper went to me. He still looked heartbreakingly ashamed. I wanted to rip Edward's head off because he didn't do as well as I thought he would. Edward heard my thoughts and smirked. I rolled my eyes. I stood up and Jasper looked down. I tried to keep it light and say the first words I had ever said to him._

"_You've kept me waiting a long time," I said and he looked at me with his dark golden eyes._

"_I'm sorry, ma'am," he said and looked down at the ground. It would take a while for me to get him happy again._

The vision stopped and I waited for a while longer. I laid down and looked at the sky. It was dark now. Clouds still covered the sky so you couldn't see the moon or the stars.

_I was running through the forest to get to Jasper and Edward._

That was a future I liked. Jasper and Edward would be heading back now so I took off into the forest. There was a long and winding trail that had Edward and Jasper's scent, but I ran a straight line to meet them. I caught their scent and speed up more. I met the two boys in a small clearing.

_I don't think you helped him as much as you thought._ I hissed to Edward in my mind and showed him a new vision of Jasper upset. Edward nodded and left. I would talk to him later, but we would be leaving soon, and I see that Edward will make us leave Bella. It would break his heart, and mine, too. I walked up to Jasper. He started to look at the ground and play with the dirt.

"Jazz…" I trailed off and Jasper looked up at me with eyes that made me want to cry. They were the saddest eyes I had ever seen. I couldn't help myself—he needed to be happy again—so I hugged him. He put his arms around me. We stood like that for two minutes until Jasper pulled me away.

"I'm so sorry," he blurted out. "I know you are very disappointed in me. Why don't you just yell at me already? I understand if you don't love me anymore."

He was so cute when he was upset, but now was not the time.

"I love you," I said, "and I'm not disappointed in you."

"Everyone's disappointed in me so why shouldn't you be?" Jasper asked. "Everyone all of the time is disappointed in me."

Wow. He had never discussed this with me.

"Since when did you start to think like that?" I asked, shocked.

"I've always been weak and everyone has known it." Jasper was really being truthful. Usually when we were alone, he would be more of his normal self, but now he was showing me a side of him I didn't know existed.

"You're not weak…" I trailed off. How could I explain this? "You're strong. Every day the scent of human blood makes you want to drink it, but you don't and that's the main thing."

"Alice," Jasper said. "I'm sorry you have to put up with me and my weakness."

I thought I had clearly said that he was strong.

"Jasper, I will be with you forever and ever," I told him. "Nothing will make me want to leave you."

"Really?" Jasper asked.

"Yes," I said. "Are you ready to go back home?"

"Okay," Jasper said and we ran holding hands all the way home. Bella was gone and Esme was tending to everything that wasn't picked up: the cake, the glass, etc. I ran up the stairs and into our room. Jasper followed behind me.

He was very quiet and he kept biting his lip before he would speak. Something was up.

"Jasper, what is it?" I cocked my head to one side. Jazz hesitated, trying to word his speech right.

"You know how you said you would stay with me no matter what?" he asked.

"Mmm-hmm," I nodded. What was up? I would've checked the future, but I knew that I should hear it from Jasper himself.

"I need you a lot right now." Jasper's eyes became the extremely sad ones again. "I'm still upset with myself and I'm going to need you a lot for support…"

"Jazz, what's up?" I asked and moved over to put my hand on his marred arm. I gently traced my finger over the scars.

"I know that it will hurt you a lot to be away from Bella…" Jasper stopped talking again.

"It will hurt, but we will come back." I told him positively. "I've seen it."

"Well, whether we come back or not, I need you to come with me to the Denali clan up in Alaska," Jasper said.

"Oh," I said. "Okay, if it will help you, I will go. Let's get packing."

We packed up and went downstairs to say goodbye to our family and headed off for Alaska. I smiled slightly and remembered that we would be coming back no matter what Edward decides.

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**A/N: Well, that's it! I hope you enjoyed reading and you'd make my day perfect if you'd just leave a lil' review telling me what you thought. No flames, please, but constructive criticism is always nice (I know it needs some), but remember, I wrote this a LONG time ago and I have improved. So, in other words....REVIEW!!!**

**~Eclipse-Vamp :)  
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